


quando bate aquela saudade

by starskies



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, lots of pining & boys being dumb, the usual really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-27 01:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starskies/pseuds/starskies
Summary: donghyuck's been giving him these weird looks lately. mark's not sure what to think.





	quando bate aquela saudade

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from a song by the same name by a portugese artist called rubel. i don’t know portugese but it apparently translates to: "when does that longing end?"

he's doing it again. jisung calls it his "donghyuck worshipping state," to which mark would call jisung a "meddling brat."

of all the ways that he could describe lee donghyuck, being worthy of his worship is certainly not one of them. he'd be sooner to say annoying, mischievous, or exasperating, at least to name a few.

what mark is doing is definitely _not_ worship, no matter what stupid jisung says, and last time he checked it wasn't a _crime_ to look at your friends.

that's exactly what he's doing: trying to be helpful by watching donghyuck, and pointing out mistakes in the choreo. the rest of them had given up a while ago, and mark is still sprawled in the corner where he collapsed the moment they had stopped, cradling a nearly-empty water bottle in his lap. jisung and chenle had disappeared about half an hour ago in search of food, and jeno and renjun are in the other corner of the room, huddled over jeno's phone and talking quietly.

donghyuck is still at it, even after a full day of dancing without much of a break. the music loops again on the speaker, and mark thinks he's just about reached the stage where hearing it makes him sick.

it's something he experiences every comeback, but it seems to happen sooner each time. even hearing the song in passing will make his limbs itch with the phantom ache of 12 hour dance practice days.

despite mark's very real belief that even forty five minutes after sitting down he might still be in danger of dying on the spot, donghyuck has still refused to quit. he's practically dripping sweat and has long abandoned the sweatshirt he wore to the studio this morning, but he had insisted that there was one part toward the end he couldn't seem to get right; so, of course, mark has been watching him to offer some constructive criticism.

sure, he hasn't actually said anything yet, but that's because donghyuck is definitely _insane_ and there is nothing actually _wrong_ with his dancing. mark is still willing to observe silently, like a good friend.

"donghyuck-ah, are you done yet? you're gonna wear yourself out," jeno calls from the other side of the room. "some of the hyungs are going to get something to eat, renjun and i are gonna join them. you coming?"

donghyuck tears his eyes away from the mirror for what's probably the first time in about an hour, blinking at jeno's expectant expression. "ah- sorry guys, maybe next time? i'm really close now, i can feel it, i think i'm gonna stick here a little while longer. i won't be too long though, promise." he grins, but mark can see the exhaustation pulling down on him.

"don't stay too late, hyuck-ah, you don't want to end up hurting yourself," renjun says, frowning at him.

donghyuck rolls his eyes, huffing a "yes, mom," as the two make their way to the door.

"what about you, hyung, wanna come?" jeno asks.

"oh, that's okay, i'll stay here a little while more too, keep an eye on him," mark says, nodding at donghyuck. "have fun, though."

renjun gives jeno a pointed look at that, which mark hasn't the slightest clue of how to interpret, but jeno rolls his eyes at him and mark figures it's not a big deal.

once the two have left, he turns back to the center of the room to find donghyuck watching him with an odd look on his face. he's not sure how to interpret that either.

"what?" he asks, but donghyuck just shakes his head and turns back to his phone to play the music again.

"no, _you_ what - not in the mood tonight to have someone else buy you food?"

mark shifts, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "it's not like you wanted to go either."

"true," donghyuck says.

"i mean - i'm just really tired, i guess. it's been a long day." he's not sure why he's still talking, but he feels like he needs to explain himself, for whatever reason.

donghyuck doesn't seem to be listening very closely anymore anyway, already falling back into the rhythm of the song.

mark watches him for a few more minutes, though his thoughts are elsewhere. it’s not difficult anymore to admit that he doesn’t really see donghyuck as a brother in the way that he used to, though it certainly was not easy the first time. it's a realization he had come to just a few months ago, though it’s more likely that was only when he realized it, not when the feelings had started.

for whatever reason, it’s become more and more prevalent recently. even at the most inconvenient, inappropriate times, like now, when he's sweaty and gross and being an obnoxious perfectionist, donghyuck doesn't cease dominating mark’s thoughts.

truthfully, mark would probably be a lot more concerned with this whole thing if it had any actual effect on their relationship, but it doesn't. donghyuck is still annoying and mark still gets annoyed with him, when he leaves the empty milk carton in the fridge or walks around with his shoelaces untied or, like, breathes, because he's not donghyuck if he's not annoying mark in some way.

it just turns out that maybe mark doesn't mind being annoyed as much as he thought. 

 

luckily, donghyuck is tired enough that they don't spend much longer at the studio. taeyong has told them not to walk back after dark alone, but the dorm isn't far and they're both too lazy to bother calling their manager.

autumn has been creeping up on them, and the cool air is a welcome change from the stuffiness of the studio. they're mostly quiet on the walk home, but mark can't help stealing glances at donghyuck every once in a while. the look donghyuck had given him earlier was still on his mind, and he was unsure what it meant.

the thing was, this wasn't the first time mark had noticed donghyuck looking at him strangely recently. these looks had become the source of a serious amount of inner turmoil over the past several days, and were the main thing occupying his thoughts in the moments he wasn’t busy memorizing lyrics or practicing new choreos. it was like a new feeling had taken root in his chest, and it only grew bigger each time his eyes caught on donghyuck’s across the room. it suddenly felt like maybe, just maybe, donghyuck didn't mind his nervous hands and too-loud laughter and cheesiness in the same way that mark didn't mind donghyuck's annoyingness.

and yet, it still wasn’t something he understood anywhere near enough to have the confidence to vocalize, or even ask for advice on (though johnny would probably kill to hear about his _angsty teen drama_ ). for a while longer, it seemed he had to resign himself to more of jisung's teasing and writing confusing lyrics that he probably won’t ever be able to use.

when they get back to the dorm, it's quiet, and the light over the kitchen sink is the only one on. taeil is standing there, getting a glass of water, and he tells them that everyone else is still out at dinner.

mark gives up the first shower to donghyuck, instead opting to lie on the floor of his room staring at the ceiling.

this is where donghyuck finds him twenty minutes later, arms and legs spread out with his phone quietly playing a random playlist on melon. he’s pretty sure this one is suzy.

donghyuck looks down at him for a few moments before lying down beside him, his head next to mark’s with his feet facing the opposite direction. his hair is still damp, and he smells sweet, like the strawberry shampoo mark knows he loves.

"i like this," donghyuck says.

"huh?" mark turns his head, but donghyuck is still staring up at the ceiling fan, his lips turned up in a small smile.

"the song. it's suzy."

"ah." he shifts a little, looking back up again. he wonders what johnny would say if he were to actually ask him for advice. probably something along the lines of, _it’s impossible to know what other people are thinking if you don’t ask them_. he takes a deep breath in. for a moment, it feels as though his lungs are filled with cotton. "hey, can i ask you about something?"

donghyuck makes a noise of confirmation. mark exhales slowly.

he turns his head, about to speak, but donghyuck's already watching him. he stops, because he’s faced with _the look_. he’s never seen it so close up before. from this distance, he can see the slight downturn of his eyebrows, as if he’s scrutinizing mark. for the first time, mark thinks that maybe donghyuck is just as confused about this as he is.

for a moment, neither of them says anything. then donghyuck's opening his mouth and mark feels his heartbeat speed up, like it’s trying to tell him that something important is about to happen.

“hyung.”

“yeah?”

“why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“like what?”

“like—you’re afraid of something,” donghyuck says. mark blinks. is he afraid? “i swear you’ve been giving me that look for like the past month.”

there’s a serious case of irony in there somewhere. mark thinks he could probably write a pretty good song about it.

“i’m not scared of anything,” he tells him, and right in that moment, he means it.

“are you sure?” with that he notices the glint in donghyuck’s eye and the edge to his voice, revealing his suppressed amusement.

and really, that’s a challenge if he’s ever heard one—donghyuck has always been the more competitive one, but after that, mark can’t help the rush to prove himself, and so he leans forward.

it’s a fairly shitty first kiss, only lasting a few seconds, noses bumping and both of them still lying in opposite directions so that it's spider-man style.

when he leans back, donghyuck isn't laughing at him anymore, but he’s smiling, and mark is too. their second kiss is a bit better than the first, though they’re still technically upside down.

when they separate, mark lies on his back again, keeping his eyes shut and letting out a deep sigh. “hey, you're an asshole, y'know that?"

donghyuck laughs again, and it sounds like music. "yeah, but you like it."

and yeah, okay, maybe he does.

**Author's Note:**

> for reference, throughout its time in my drafts this fic was actually titled "projecting my feelings about donghyuck onto mark lee"


End file.
